My bad feeling come back again

Im crazy again. Recently I saw my friend from single change to in relationship.
I feel sad again.
Im sad not bcos he have a gf, is just bcos Im jealous with them.
Im really jealous with the people / friend who have bf/ gf.
I knew that hving a bf doesnt means you will happy all the time.
Sometimes might b sweet, sour and etc.

Due to my attitude, sometimes I love to hv one. But sometimes I jus like to b alone.
Dont know how to control myself.
I always tell myself, mayb my fate haven come yet.
Or mayb guy like pretty girl / girlish kind of girl.
I dont like to waste money on make up.
It will spoil my skin also.

Sigh, I also dont know how to express my feeling now.
Jus feel lonely.
Mayb few days later, I wil b better.
Hope so.